A year later

   June 22nd passed by and I didn't even realize it. You see, June 22nd of last year just so happened to be the worst day of my life. This was the day that Lukas was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I started blogging soon after his diagnosis as a way of coping with the new information I had gotten. In the beginning this blog was even titled, "Screw Autism." The evaluation was not a good experience (see my first post) and was filled with outdated doom and gloom information. It was no wonder it was the worst day of my life.

   Fast forward to today. I would have never imagined that June 22nd would come and go without me noticing. My husband Michael and I are at peace with autism. I can't deny that I don't worry or stress myself out about the future and it's certainly not always butterflies and rainbows, but neither is raising any child. I realize that our life is different and we have to be more flexible then other parents. I realize that we are up against a world that doesn't understand us and sometimes this is even applied to the people who are closest to us. My job is to help them understand.

   Lukas has gone from an 18 month old with one word (shoes) to a 3 year old who though uncommon for him, told me today, "I want water, please!" in an angry demand to go to the river and wade around. He is not conversational yet, but he labels and makes requests such as, "Milk, please!" He cares most of the time now when I leave the house and yells "Maaaa!" but still usually only slightly smiles on my return. He doesn't interactively play with other children, but he has tried and he likes being around people. We have even made friends with a local group of moms, which is wonderful for us.

  As Lukas has gotten older he has become more difficult. He gets especially frustrated by things he can't communicate to us. He hates coming home from being out and about. The meltdowns are tough, especially when he bangs his head on the floor, pulls his own hair, or smacks himself. He gets so frustrated or overwhelmed and it kills me because it drives him crazy. I have to turn off emotions when this happens and most of the time the meltdown just has to run it's course. When it's done, he usually comes to me and has me hold him and then all is well. I tell him I understand and everything is ok. Meltdowns and difficulties aside, the majority of our time we are happy. He has come so far and he has so much more to go. He is still so young and I plan on enjoying every moment we spend together.