Screw Autism D-Day

      Lukas was a carefully planned baby. I wanted everything in order for when we finally decided to have a child. We had moved to NC, bought a house, had stable jobs, a little money saved and had been married for four years. The timing was ideal and we were ready and so excited. The night I got my positive pregnancy test Michael was volunteering at WNCW, a local radio station that plays an eclectic mix of  music. I drove down to the studio, showed him the test and he lifted me up and spun me around in circles. I was so thrilled I had brought my dog Ernie and we ran around the studio screaming and laughing in the late hours, with Ernie running along with us.

      My pregnancy wasn't a fun one. I really wanted it to be, but the 24/7 nausea and vomiting multiple times daily never let up. The extreme constipation, the hemmroids, the terrible acne, the swelling, the inability to enjoy food at all, the sciatica, the swelling, the bleeding, the borderline gestational diabetes, the sometimes too high blood pressure, the early contractions and the working fulltime up until I burst was NOT fun. Literally, I worked the 3-11 shift April 17th, 2010 and went into labor around 6AM the next morning. I got up to use the bathroom and went to get into bed and gush. My water broke. Oh shit, I think. It's not time yet. I'm still in my 35th week! Did I piss my pants? I walk to wake up Michael. I am numb and the water keeps dripping. I say we have to go to the hospital. I call my parents and they come, too. The nurse says, "let's hope it wasn't your water breaking. You're too early." Fear. Is my son going to be able to breath on his own? Is he going to get airlifted? The Dr. checks and says, "Yep, it's a positive. You're 4 cm dilated. Let's get that baby out of you." I say, "what?" He says, "let's get the pitocin started." I told him no, that I didn't want pitocin. He looked offended and told me that if I didn't take the pitocin I would probably give birth overnight and no one would be there to deliver my baby. Really, asshole? Babies have to be born during business hours? Without going into details, Lukas was born at 1:23 PM that afternoon while earlier asshole Dr. was at his son's soccer game. I lucked out and got a wonderful Dr. who was so kind and gentle and really treated the situation like it was a miracle. Lukas popped out and he didn't cry. I was terrfied, but he was breathing, 6lbs 1oz and the most beautiful little guy I had ever seen.

      The hospital stay was a blur. I did not bounce back quickly. Lukas had latching issues. I didn't sleep for 36 hours. Family in and out. It honesty, it sucked. I remember coming home and we all finally got to lay down and go to sleep. We were home. Finally. It was time to get our new life started. I couldn't wait.