Bullying

   We dealt with our first round of "bullying" over the weekend. The good thing is, Lukas isn't old enough to understand and it was directed at me. This person whom I have been friends with since childhood has a tough life. She is in a mentally and sometimes physically abusive relationship. She is trapped by a person who has torn her self esteem down into non-existent. She drinks too much and has an immature view of the world because she is so sheltered. She has a beautiful 9 year old daughter who sees and hears things no child should hear. Fortunately, this "friend" of mine does have family who support her. They of course have tried to end this relationship she has with this man, but it has been 13 years so they do what they can do, but they can't change the situation.

   This "friend" and I were talking on the phone and she went on to tell me that her sister, who is a very educated woman who has a Master's degree and is working on her doctorate explained to her that autism is a form of "mental retardation." I wasn't fore sure if this was true because the friend I was talking to was drunk and quite frankly, probably interpreted the information wrong. I said I was going to contact her sister who said this and see what she said. It hurt me. It made me defensive. Why would someone say that? So, I hung up on the friend and texted her sister who explained that is not what she said. The rest of the night myself and my husband received call after call, voicemail after voicemail from my "best friend" calling me ugly, two faced, backstabbing. Telling me to eat shit and die and that I threw away a whole lifetime of friendship because I can't control my emotions, that I am selfish, that I am crazy and need to be on all of those pills. Sometimes she would speak as if I hadn't talked to the sister yet and sometimes like I had. Total batshit crazy. This is the nice stuff. Hell, I could probably even forgive these things that are directed at me. Chuck it up to alcohol, some mental illness and the result of years of abuse. The problem is, she didn't just talk about me. She went for the jugular and talked about Lukas. She said no wonder your son is retarded. That it's my fault because I am retarded and messed up.

   If you mess with my son, it's over. I don't care if we are blood, if I have known you all my life, or of you have donated me a kidney. All moms should know this. I did not answer her calls, but did text back and forth. I never said a mean word. I told her I didn't want to add pain into the world by saying mean things to people. I said that I hope she finds peace. I mean this, I hope she does. I thought that she would wake up the next day and see the texts and be shocked at her behavior. I even forwarded her some of the most offensive voicemails assuming she would be horrified. Any normal person would be, right? Not her. She texted back that I needed to apologize or never speak to her again. Hmmm, well that decision isn't too hard is it?

   I had offered to buy her a plane ticket to come stay with me to get her out of her situation for awhile. I have prayed for her and even talked about her with a group of my "sisters" (you know who you are) and asked them to pray for her and this is what I get? Like I told her, I would not have said those things to my worst enemy. I mean, I am 30 years old. Grown people do not act like that. So, it's over. I wish her no harm. My husband on the other hand does, but he handles things differently. I know that I am not dealing with someone in their right mind.

   All of this reminds me that people can be truly cruel and heartless. If Lukas truly is autistic, we will have many bridges to cross. If Lukas isn't autistic, we will still have many bridges to cross. Day by day. That is my new way of thinking. It's  tough for me because I am a worrier. Each day is a new day with new opportunities. Today starts the day of vacation for Michael, Lukas and I. Tomorrow we leave town to go stay with my mother and father in law on their 22 acre farm. We will be back in SC, lounging by the pool, getting our feet in the sand, and seeing the people who really matter. Family and friends who care. These moments, these people, are what truly matter.