It was an uneasy night last night. Lukas tossed and turned and was sounding stuffy in his sleep. I knew it was coming and about 3 AM he felt warm, but he was asleep soundly. At 4AM I could feel his hot little skin pressed against me and recognized his fever squirm. Co-sleeping with Lukas allows me to know exactly when Lukas spikes a fever. I know all the signs, his movements and the way he feels. I got up to get some ibuprofen, and of course, he got up and followed me. That's the misfortune of co-sleeping. We are so connected that if I get up, he is sure to follow.
When Lukas was younger he handled being sick terribly. When I say this, I am not talking about a fussy baby who is miserable and can't sleep. I am talking about a a year old kid screaming for hours and working himself up into such a frenzy that we were all at a loss. I'd even call my parents over as reinforcements. With even a cold, he wouldn't eat for days. One time he stopped drinking and had to get IV fluids. I would dread him getting sick with my every ounce of my being and feel like we made it through the zombie apocalypse by the time he was better.
This morning, Lukas is happy. He woke up sick, but followed me out to the kitchen with a huge smile. He took his medicine easily and gulped down liquids no problem. He has been labeling things all morning, saying words more clearly then he even did a week ago, and all and all a pleasure to be up with despite the way too early wake up call. A far cry from the past.
I checked my email this morning and saw a negative comment about my views on autism from someone on the spectrum. I felt a twinge of being angry/hurt or whatever the emotion was, but hey, we are going to be going up against hurdles, differing opinions, etc. for years to come. Since this person is on the spectrum, he/she surely has a right to post or have their opinion based on their experience. I know my son, though. I do not claim to know exactly how I will handle things as the years go on, but I am comfortable with my point of view right now and it helps me get through day to day.
Lukas hasn't kissed me for days and as I sat and pondered the comment made he comes up to me and gives me the sweetest kiss right on the lips. Yes, I got snot all over my mouth. Yes, I am destined to catch what he has, but it was almost like a sign. I am doing what is right with Lukas. I know this because he is my son and apart of me.
I'm so sorry Lukas is sick. It's never fun when the little ones are sick. I'm VERY VERY glad he's handling it a TON better this time around. He def gave you a run for you money when he was sick, but you made it through.
ReplyDeleteBekki, I'm not going to lie, when I found out he was diagnosed with autism, I cried and cried. I didn't cry b/c of his diagnosis, I cried for you guys. Your blog that day touched me a great deal. You said how you wish you had the "normal" worries and things you may never hear him say...that crushed me. However, I don't feel that will be Lukas. My dad had told me, "Gretchyn, it is a shame, but thank God Lukas has the parents he has." He's so right!!!! I feel that Lukas is on the lower end of the spectrum b/c of you guys!!!! Because you took action early, b/c you work with him, b/c you don't treat him "differently", b/c he is Lukas and you love him with all of your heart and soul no matter what! Don't let those idoits that say dumb stuff get at you...I know you won't, you are stronger than that :) Lukas will not grow up with a chip on his shoulder thinking "I can't do this or that b/c I'm autistic." He will grow up thinking, "I can do this and more b/c I'm me!" I've told you many many times, I see Lukas as a little boy that is slightly behind, but WILL catch up! This world is so ugly anymore. All we want to do it label people and blame their actions b/c of a "problem" they have. People kill people and they plead insanity...NO! it's b/c you are a jerk and you killed them b/c of that! You aren't insane, you are a BLEEP! (LOL!) Chris' grandmothers told me, "I don't ever remember having autistic kids in school with me or every hearing of autism when I was growing up." Why? Because back then people were people...no labels! Different? Sure! All people are different, but their wasn't any labeling. I love you guys and I love that little man like he's my own. No matter what people say, remember you guys are GREAT parents and doing all the right things for him. As parents, you know the right thing to do for YOUR child. NOBODY, knows your childs wants and needs better than you two! All parents know their child better than someone else's. We can give each other advice, but ulitmately us parents know what our child really needs. I'm sorry for that person that feels they are different than the rest of us and feels he/she needs to have that over his/her head. Lukas will not grow up that way and that to me is AWESOME and the way it should be. My Aunt Cindy has downs syndrome and she goes about life like their's nothing wrong. She has taught me and my family a great deal...she isn't the wrong one, WE ARE! Yes, autism and downs are two COMPLETELY COMPLETELY different things, but my point is that she doesn't see the "label", she sees herself just like us. We are the jerks that label and make people "different" or make people see themselves as "different". People complain about "bullying"...isn't labeling bullying to an extent by pointing people out and making them feel different and ashamed of themselves?? You are doing right by Lukas and I'm so proud to have you guys as friends. I love you all to pieces and nothing on Earth will ever change that. Sorry about my extremely long comment. Love you all! *BIG HUGS*
LOL. I LOVE the long comment. I'll tell you this. Lukas has seriously stirred a passion in Michael and I again. I feel like a teenager again and feel this urge to fight back against people who want to look down on us. I feel good! A lot of my views on a lot of things in life are more radical. Apparently the view of thinking your kid is just fine and dandy while being autistic is one of them.
ReplyDeleteI love you, too. I know you will always be there and you love Lukas. In my opinion, we are FAMILY.
Like I said, I feel sorry for those that feel that need to live their lives with a label. You guys are doing awesome and have the greatest attitude about this. Again, Lukas has the greatest parents he could have and I thank God for that! :) Yes, you are right...we are family. Though if these kids get married that could pose a problem...LOL!
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