Sunday, December 30, 2012

Ramblings of a sleep deprived Mom

  I've got it! Yes, I've figured it out. I know how to cure autism! It's all so easy and it doesn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. There is no scientific breakthrough and it didn't involve millions in research.If you are a parent, it's as easy as totally, completely, and wholely embracing who your child is. Later, your child will thank you. Some suggestions:

1. Most support groups are toxic. I noticed that I would feel fine about Lukas and then would visit these online groups and would come away feeling out of control sad. These groups are mostly parents who go online to search for alternative methods to "cure" their children and and as one video I saw by a father put out by Autism Speaks, "fix" their children. These people make me question my gut and they make me question my happiness. Sure, autism isn't all glitter and butterflies, but I sure don't want to sit around and complain all the time. Maybe to some people this is helpful. Personally, it sucks the life from me.

2. Tell people you don't want to hear any theories or studies that they have read about. Everyone is an expert because they saw one biased news cast on autism or someone they know happens to know someone who has a nephew with autism. Man, get off my back!

3. Try not to compare. Don't look at typically developing kids and feel bad. I need to work on this myself. Your child is an individual and will do things when he/she is ready.

4.  Early Intervention is awesome. Lukas has grown so much through ST, OT, and Play therapy. Follow your gut with therapies. You as a parent know what is helpful and what's not.

5.  This is the biggest one. Work WITH autism, not against it. Your child is unique and a miracle. Embrace interests, get out and do things and get out of your comfort zone. Let your child change your perceptions of what is normal.

  The more I try to connect with other "autism moms" the more I realize that I have a double whammy. I already have a hard time finding like minded people and when you throw in the autism thing it makes it even harder. I want to be friends with autism moms, but I can't connect with people who view autism as a terrible affliction. Why? Because that means that's how they view my child and I just can't have that.

   Maybe I am lucky, but Lukas is a happy kid. He doesn't have a problem being him and his whole family likes him just the way he is. It's the rest of the world I am worried about.

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